I love the Onion. They win. ALL. THE. TIME.
ABSTINENCE ONLY LUNCH PROGRAMS
If you're gonna tell folks they can't have an abortion. You should definitely then give them the proper sexual education on how to prevent it. You should also provide adequate access to birth control because it's much cheaper to pay $400 a year on birth control than it is to pay 400 monthly for WIC/foodstamps
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